Nothing day made special

It was a nothing day, meaning, it was a day that consisted of my usual run of things. If I was not in the office trying to solve a million and one things, I would be at home trying to rediscover the Internet or cable TV, or yet still, I would be in the mall buying stuff and paying bills. Which was what I was looking like doing for most of the day that day - paying bills. I even thought, maybe if I had enough cash left in my wallet after this, I'd grab something to eat. It was so, so normal.

Inside the bank, thankfully cooler, heat outside was punishing; I was queued up as soon as I filled my payment slip for my and hunny's credit card bills. This being the middle of the day, the queue wasn't that long, as usually the case in between the rush of lunch breaks and office-to-home. I remember I was looking at the FOREX rates, USD improved versus PHP; that was good for my small stash of USD's, I thought. I was about to start fantasizing again what I could do with my USD's saved up when the a stranger's finger tapped my back. It was slight, I was almost not sure if someone's had actually called my attention. I tried to pretend to look bored and turned around.

I couldn't explain the feeling. I felt I knew him but not quite. He was someone I know, used to know, never quite really known, all of the above, all at once. But it was a good feeling, inspite being inexplicable. All to soon, like as soon as the neurons started working and confirming and settling the initial disbelief/shock/whatev's, I was able to make the most dashing and sophisticated acknowledgment known to man: "Oh, hey!" I felt stupid. I couldn't remember what he was saying then, my mind was still running its catalogue/cross-referencing program and I've run out of RAM. The rest of my body and senses were running on automatic. The last thing I remember was that he asked me to stay after I made my payments, and that he was about to settle his own bills. So I sat at one of the bank's waiting benches, underneath now-ignored FOREX rates chart.

We went out of the bank together. I knew he was on his way home, and I was on my way somewhere. I couldn't remember then where I was supposed to go. This day of automaton order suddenly ditched into disarray. Luckily, my feet found its rightful direction. He went my way (which was away from where I think he should be heading), us exchanging Q-and-A's also known as small talk. I was admiring at how healthy and happy he looked, though I never had the chance to actually find out if he were. A small piece of tissue paper peeked on his left shoulder underneath his shirt; the heat was punishing, he was taking care of himself. Somewhere in SM Makati's mall we stopped, exchanged numbers, then went separate ways. I knew as I walked and watched our distances widen that I panicked. I was feeling uncomfortable for not having the right words or questions to keep us talking. But also I was feeling needy and wishful for this happy moment to go on; having it ended so abruptly under the guise of getting on with the business of the day was wee-bit painful. I remembered what I was supposed to do next: I was going to pay my cellphone bill.

He texted a reassuring note. At the time, I was inside the Globe business center, regretting for favoring this forever-slow queue over what could be tremendously fabulous time with an old friend (maybe over coffee or something of the like). Ah, there's hope for a next time... maybe the next time would be more special...

Wired with a twist of lime

In between e-mailing, phone calls, writing "stuff" and the usual rounds of blogs and sites, a few weeks ago, I discovered somewhat belatedly the addictive pleasures of Limewire. In between oohs and ahhs, and some tsk-tsk's, I no sooner delved into downloading music of my youth, ano pa nga ba, new wave. But what ELSE to download? I've already amassed several "underground" and new wave mp3 collections courtesy of CD peddlers of Makati and Manila. Google would have to give some suggestions. Which led me, though I don't recall exactly how (isn't that just the charm of Google?), to DigitalDreamDoor, the personal site of some guy named Lew, who had this passion for both music and making lists. There was a list of what the site believes are the 100 greatest new wave songs. And no sooner in finishing the whole 100 entry-list I realized what a hick I've been as a kid. I couldn't recall over half of the entries.

To quench my curiosity, Limewiring became the fitting strategy to meet the objective. And that's how a week-and-a-half-long vigil started. It was a fulfilling vigil, actually. Sometimes, I'd get disappointed for not having to find open servers from where the files can be downloaded. Argghh! Then sometimes, the available downloads were not really of good quality. Kainiz! But by and large, it was a fun experience. But the most fun, of course, was telling friends (and them getting involved) about it. And I had one perfect guy in mind. Ferdie. A good friend, one of the officers of the organization, and born into this world not with an infantile wail but with a song and dance production number.

Somewhere in the middle of my Limewire-like-crazy phase, he visited and got as much involved with the list as I did... in a matter of seconds. I particularly remember this one instance. Though I had my suspcion what the song was, I wasn't sure. Until this list, I thought I know everything about new wave. Ano ba itong "Too Shy"? And what in the world is/was Kajagoogoo?! Ferdie suddenly broke into his song-and-(a bit of) dance number. We were thinking of the same thing. Then we almost simultaneously asked each other, "new wave ba ito??" So then, a Limewire search was in order for Kajagoogoo. We were also both dunzo for some other songs on the list. But as soon as we downloaded some, the epiphanies came "Ay, alam ko na to! So yun pala yun..."

My hunny, though in a more somber manner, got into it as well, him more interested in pursuing some of his own curiosities. While continuing with the list, I searched for some of his requests, essentially Big Country and Alan Parsons Project. (The latter one was not new wave, but I found out that DigitalDreamDoor listed it as one of the most underrated artists. Hunny and I agree.) My hunny even helped fixing one download, "Send Me An Angel" by Real Life; it had a skip in the middle. I e-mailed the file to him and he fixed the skip through Sound Forge. When I got it back, I thought it sounded better than when I first downloaded it. I love him to bits!

Two nights ago, I was down to just several seemingly rare, hard-to-find mp3's. Limewire had them listed but servers hosting them don't seem to come up when I was online. I felt frustration for having only two left unfound, especially that I have also made a resolve to do something with my new found collection. I wanted to share this with friends and family. (Profiting from this actually crossed my mind, but hey, I'm a "Fair Use" kind of guy. I'm almost HIP - or I try to honor intellectual property when I have the money for it.) I was almost at the point of giving up on the idea when Ferdie visited again and I proudly updated him with my Limewire discoveries. At six in the morning (he then just arrived from Legazpi, where he manages our project over there), we were exchanging raves and he was egging me to look for other sources, "other" being purchasing music online. WTF?! Me? Buy music, when there's just about thousands available for free?? Well, there may be thousands, but for two, he reminded me. He was feeding into my desperation. What the hell... I pulled out my credit card.

Some sites like iTunes charge a fortune for downloads, around 0.99USD per song. 50 pesos is already full meal in a carinderia -- at may softdrinks pa yun! Was I that desperate? I gotta search for more alternatives; I must be desperate and crazy, but I've enough sense remaining to look for alternatives. The new wave gods sent me an angel as I googled for alternative download-for-pay sites. I happened on MP3Search.ru and it only charges 0.10USD per download. There must be a catch, I couldn't believe it. The catch was I have to have my credit charged for 20USD at the minimum, and charges will be debited for every download I was to make. Hmmm... still sounded like a fair deal. Plus, there was Ferdie cheering me from behind. I was able to download the rare ones, "Messages" (OMD) and "Reaping the Wild Wind" (Ultravox) -- after listening, I thought they sounded far better than some of the freely downloaded and later trashed mp3's. (After all, their songs had 192kbps sample rates as well as the new VBR "standard.") I also decided to download two more, which I got through Limewire but were of poorer quality (actually, the beginning and fade-out ending portions were cut): "Love and Money" (Bronski Beat) and "Some Like It Hot" (The Power Station).

This morning, I put my plans to pilot test. I bought some CDR's and burned my downloads on one; this one's gonna go to Ferdie. If there's one person who's gonna utterly love me for this alone, it's gonna be him, I thought. And why should I just burn a CD and send him like it's not really special? So early Sunday morning, I googled for some JPG's and designed a cover for the CD's jewel case. And tonight, Eon wondered at how I've made this obsession into a full, short-term career. I shrugged and had stupid grin on my face. I felt very happy.

Lighten up in rainbow colors

It's been almost two weeks since I bought a book entitled "Rainbow Boys" from Fully Booked at the new mall to top all malls - what else? - the Mall of Asia. It's an exceedingly easy read, but of course, it's intended for young adults. I have to commend Fully Booked for getting this book's classification right. Actually a friend (from way back), who turned out worked for the store, confided that he knew of this book (and he wasn't surprised that I bought it) and that some other branches usually stack this title up in the wrong shelves. (Ah, such intelligence from bookstore sales staff, reminds me of that movie "You Got Mail.")

Many sections of the story would indulge the reader of high-school-gurlish swoon, but hey, sometimes, especially when days get too hectic like mine did, escapist young-love romance ek-ek is just about the right prescription. But I've to say, Rainbow Boys is light reading of exceptional quality - and of extremely great value especially for young "questioning" adults. How I wished I could've read something like this way back when (God knows my life then needed some enlightenment like this book offered).

I quote here one of my favorite "scenes." On this part of the story, one of the Rainbow Boys, Nelson, and his mom participate in a school board hearing for Nelson's school's proposal to start a gay-straight alliance.

Nelson's mom was called next. She walked to the front and sat at the microphone. "It's said a picture is worth a thousand words. Since I only have one minute..." She opened her pocketbook and passed the photo of six-year-old Nelson to the board president.

Nelson squirmed with embarrassment as his mom continued: "That's my son, taken his first morning of kindergarten. Smiling. Happy. When I picked him up that afternoon, however, you would see a very different picture of him. Crying. Hurt. Sad. You see, his very first day of school he learned a new work: 'sissy.' The next morning he begged me not to make him go back."

Nelson had forgotten all that. Now he understood why she'd brought the photo.

"I promised him school would get better. I believed it then. Now I realize I lied. For the past twelve years, every single school day he's been called names and obscenities, while most teachers have stood by silently. Some school officials even told him he brought it upon himself."

She looked at Mueller [the school principal], who turned away from her gaze.

"Simply because he walks and talks differently from other boys, he's been hit, beat up, spit upon, and received death threats."

Nelson slid down his seat, wishing she hadn't told everyone he'd been spit upon.

She looked straight at him. "There have been days when I wished my son hadn't been born gay. Not because I love him less for it," she said emphatically, "but so he wouldn't have to endure so much suffering."

She looked at Fenner's dad [father of a student who seems to be a Bible-beating conservative]. "Some here talk about family values while in the same breath they disparage a group that would foster values of tolerance and understanding. I don't know what those families have as their values. But I know students should be able to attend school without being abused. I believe this group will help achieve that. Thank you."

School board members passed the photograph back, looked one another, and nodded.

Nelson sat thinking. In spite of his embarrassment, he sensed his mom had made the best point of anyone yet.

[Alex Sanchez, Rainbow Boys, pages 180-181]

Rainbow Boys is first of a series of three novels. Read about it from Alex Sanchez's, the author's, website here. And oh, by the way, Happy Pride Month to you all!