My first and last post -- July 23, 2003 -- I said I was about to start with something new in my life. And here's my second posting, more than two years after... I'm pathetic! Actually, due to circumstances that would probably unfold little by little if I persevere this time around, I've essentially forgotten that I've started this blog. Regaining consciousness of this itty-bitty space on the Internet began early this year... including all anxieties that came with the "should I/shouldn't I" a.k.a. konsensya/kontra-konsensya mind-fuck debate-a-thon. A dear, dear friend graduates college; him having nothing to do on the interim, he got dragged to some activities that I manage at work. With the mini rackets he was getting from me, he literally lived with me for awhile. I saw him being quite prolific with the blogging thing. A slight tinge of envy; how does he do it? Then later on, finding out that my hunny (term of endearment for my "mate") also maintains one and is also quite the blogger. "Bakit hindi ko alam yan?" "blah-blah... and you won't understand these things anyway..." "Ganun?" (Isyu! Isyu!) Then finally, braving a visit to my blogger account -- spotless, spiritless, thoughtless -- like a clean room with a "dirty secret," a closet full of incomprehensible junk. Fast foward months later, on the verge of another burnout, feeling emotionally exhausted with work-related issues, discovered an addictive pill -- G4M. Edit profile, bluetooth images from mobile phone, tweak images with Photoshop, upload images, search, search, search (hottie, buddy, hottie, hottie, SUPER-ULTRA-MEGA hottie, *swoon!*)... day in, day out. Then a witty, funny guy on the boards (a hottie also in my book), cites his blog for his sexcapades... shameless self-promoting ploy, it's a blog of his day-to-days with a twist, stupendous volumes of wit and humor. He has found a fan in me. Promised him, as feedback, to build a fans club for him. He he he. Then just tonight, on the comp darth sanro visits the blog of a friend from his former office. Also my friend, and I miss her TERRIBLY (missing you, astrobrat, and it really hurts, promise). Darth sanro shows me one of the linked blogs -- an ultra sports guy/artist/and yes, prolific blogger. "Hey! That's a guy on one of my buddy lists! (friendster? DL? can't remember)" Hmmm... I do remember he doesn't have anything much on his profile linked on my buddy list... I also do remember having averred to another friend that his profile is not your usual "hottie posing/packaging" (I need a better word for this!) but there's something definitely incredibly sexy about him -- after looking over his blog, I knew what it was finally, his brain. And because of these precedents, and due to the fact that I'm your ordinary human specimen, thinking but not quite rational, I've made a decision to at least try again to revive this blog. If my next entry will again be two years after, at least, I'd already sense a pattern -- a pathetic one, at that. And I'm supposed to be the one of the "real writers" among my friends! Sheesh!