Oh look! A third blogpost... I hope this won't become an addiction, but I hope this won't be ningas cogon either. Then again, I'd expect myself to be really quite diligent at first -- getting the hang of it, baga. Today, I try the mail-to-blog feature -- the wysiwig interface isn't quite working fast enough for my thoughts.
For a change, I'm happy with my last song syndrome... Absolute Reality by Alarm, heard over Powerbooks in Megamall while digging into the discounted books rack. The music reminded me of positive memories of bygone youthful, worry-free days. Positive must be qualified though: even those creepy, juvenile, embarrassing situations back in high school are just now plain corny and naive, good for chuckle. Kasi naman di ba, compared to tribulations of my thirtysomething life, walang wala ang mga yun talaga (couldn't even remember why some of those "bad moments" were worth the anxiety).
Absolute Reality is one of those songs that really trigger back those feel-good vibes... struggling with a complete, sane set of volleyball with classmates (wasn't much of a sportie)... fussing over hair, zits, cheekbones, shoulders... practicing cool, disaffected moves for classroom-to-corridor-to-canteen seeing and being seen... accessories, accessories, accessories... of course, laughing with friends as sun went down and bus services giving up waiting...
Then ang mga nakakahiyang mga kakornihan: fighting with my gay English teacher for getting overly dramatic on us because we were noisy and disrespectful (we're friends now, and we used to see each other as usual suspects in usual Malate hangouts, until the teacher brain-drain thanks to the US)... moping over feeling used and left out after helping classmates as "bridge" (alam nyo na yun, being the funny, friendly, sexless guy who's everybody's friend -- and access to the coolest girls and hottest guys)... getting all hurt and anti-social after being chided to try courting some girl, only to be treated like a joke... hay jusko, kinikilabutan ako... and oh, of course, getting physical and violent and hurting and regretful -- and being taunted for "hitting like a girl." These were the REAL ISSUES of my "spirited" youth.
Then just like now, I will feel all misty, somewhat saddened... some classmates died, some had unwanted pregnancies, some had more than his share of panganays, several single parents, some lost and forever pining for their love of their lives (lost to college and career)... and some finally came out of the closet, started living for real, trying hard not to look back in regret and focus on the now, and hope for better things in the future... haaaayyy buuuhhaaay... mine's not too bad though -- I think -- loving devotedly (and loved back I'm sure) for more than five years, not that rich but getting by, respected for my talents... and the last song syndrome revives me again...
"Hoooohhh, yeah, yeah... hey now, now... hey now, now..." (hey, and I don't sing too bad, either)
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